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21 Oct

This is part of what makes it so bizarre when bankers become the villains in our national consciousness: er, bankers? Yet within the banking catch-all, there are grades of evil too, and though bankers are bad and currently the popular choice as The Ones That Got Us Into This Mess, investment bankers are truly the devil incarnate. Then they lost it all spectacularly, overnight, and ended up on Wanted posters all across town.

You’re telling me that those suit-dressing, briefcase-toting number pushers and money counters have brought about the destruction of life on the planet as we know it? Last week I dined with a friend in a similarly high-stakes, big-bucks line of work, who told me he’d finally seen the light.

It wasn’t the addiction to sleeping pills or the series of failed relationships that set the alarm bells ringing.

Turns out what really made him wise up was the fact that his firm had a suicide task force, to identify anyone deemed to be on the brink and pluck him or her off important projects before disaster struck.

— Waiting and Wanting Dear Breakup Girl, I am a happily married woman (and no — I’m not asking for advice on how to change that situation).

In math, this idea is represented as a limit of a function oscillating and eventually approaching an asymptote; in physics this is known as damped oscillations (for all the math and science geeks).There is alot of teasing, and sexual innuendo, but also some serious moments.Thing is, he and his girlfriend don’t act like boyfriend and girlfriend, and some of his comments make me think he likes me. Nothing and wait for him, forget about him, or go for it? Don’t worry, I’m not about to go all Carrie Bradshaw on you, so if you’re worried this will turn into a paean to past paramours, fear not. Which admittedly adds a little frisson to the whole affair, but let’s not run away with ourselves. And even the most high-flying, cash-raking multi-squillionaire banker can’t quite shake off the profession’s prosaic connotations. But the truth is, the IB and his ilk were paid a stomach-curdling fortune to while away the best years of their lives at the beck and call of Mammon. See, the way things have gone for bankers of late, I feel a bit like I stepped out with Satan. Don’t get me started on the hair conditioner.) The point is, if money is the root of all evil, bankers were its boom-time shoots. In my defence, I did so before the bottom fell out of the banking system and bankers the world over were suddenly out of favour, and long before the services of Dating A Banker Anonymous, a purported support group recently set up online for girlfriends of bankers coping with the downsizing of their bling-ed lives post-economic crash, were required.